Blame it on perimenopause

Blame it on perimenopause

It seems like it happened over night, but looking back…it’s been slowly creeping up…dulling over time. That spark. That creative energy. That will to push and do more. It feels like it just disappeared over night…but i can see that it had been happening for the last few years. 

I’m a small business owner…now of 3 businesses. Just writing that out seems like a joke to myself. Who in their right mind takes on owning a small business, 2x over? I did this to myself, obviously…because my ambition and love of a challenge drove me forward into something bigger. An idea or imagination that why not?! Plenty of people have multiple businesses and still have a great life (so it would appear). It can be possible to not bury yourself in minutia and have a thriving business. 

Well, 7 years into this wild ride and I will say…that seemed very possible every time I stepped up to take on another one…but I wasn’t watching the signs that the collective shift happening through a pandemic into the weirdest groundhogs day like world we seem be living in lately…I didn’t realize how much I couldn’t do alone. And am still trying to figure it out. 

This happens to me every few years. I just hit a wall. I loose the magic. I forget everything that is GOOD and BEAUTIFUL because the world is literally screaming in my face to push and do and and and and. And then I stop, I drop to my mat and move my body. I start being more intentional with paying attention to what is my breath doing. How am I sleeping. Where am I getting overly annoyed and frustrated and is it justified or just because my nervous system has stopped responding in helpful ways. 

This time, it is slightly because of perimenopause…but I can’t blame it all on that. When I look back at the scale of change, the scale of push, the scale of keeping up with the studios around me to just have market space…I realize how much I have asked of my nervous system, not ever asking was it keeping up. I just assumed it would. 

So, as I am getting ready to embark on my next retreat in El Salvador…I am writing up some amazing meditations and concepts for my times hosting 12 other women. I’m remembering the power of something I used to say all the time and then it too lost its way…but it’s coming back. 

“Life is lived in the pause”. 

I’m ready to lean in the next week into the pause. I’m ready to push through what feels like insurmountable challenges in front of me and remember what I HAVE done these last 7 years. I’ve rebuilt one yoga community into a thriving community through the pandemic and into the future of whatever this is. I’m about to rebuild another one. I’ve helped redefine a consulting business from just a good business to a great one. I’ve trained countless yoga teachers on the power of yoga, breath and meditation. I’ve hosted 13 (about to be 14) retreats…and soon 4 of those international. I’m about to plan my next retreat to host in Bali in 2027. My community in Castle Rock is one I am so proud of - because my teachers are just amazing and have leaned in to share their hearts.

With this reminder, I’m also very aware of some things that are and need to shift in the next year around how I am showing up and how I am treating the value I bring to all of this. It’s going to be hard for many to swallow, but it’s time to lean into being a recipient of the abundance, not just a generator for others. It’s time ladies, to lean into the abundance. 

Will you join me? 

Send me an email sometime or leave a comment. Would love to chat more about retreats, women’s empowerment and why yoga is more than just a pose in a class. It’s a lifestyle.